The first requirement before selecting or choosing a mate for marriage is to ask yourself, 'Am I spiritually and financially ready for marriage?' Have I placed God first in my life - studying His Word and growing in spiritual knowledge and understanding (Second Timothy 2:15 KJV)? How is my communication skill with Him, continuing steadfastly in prayer (Romans 12:12 NKJV)? Financially, don't get caught into the debt traps (Read Romans 13:8). Your marriage might be stuffed to death.
· Spiritually compatibility is a mandatory requirement before selecting a mate. Which church to attend (Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal, etc.)? Which pastor-teacher? Which Bible doctrines you each accept or don't accept?
· Is your prospective mate a Christian? For God says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers...for you are the temple of God...” (Second Corinthians 6:14, 15).
· Select a mate who loves God, one who doesn't put their mate or family before Him (Matthew 10:37). God comes first. If you or your believed soul mate put the other before God, the relationship is most likely to fail. Did you start your relationship in the attraction stage wrongly, physical (kissing with sex)? Marriage at this stage is disastrous. It isn't too late to begin anew.
· Observe how their father and mother are being treated. Are they being honored as God commanded? See Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:2.
· Looking at the outward appearance only, based upon how good looking the person is, isn't of God. God looks at the heart.
(First Samuel 16:7).
· Is your prospective mate responsible? Irresponsible people can’t make marriage work – they blame others for their bad situations, not willing to accept responsibility for themselves.
· Don't marry a person who is continually worried, fearful, too nervous, that is not normal ~ to escape an unhappy home life ~ for financial security ~ just because you love and want children, knowing that getting married is the only Godly way to accomplish this.
· Does each of you have impersonal love? Impersonal love is love for all mankind, a commandment by God. (Romans 13:9, 10). It must exist before you have personal love for your mate. Impersonal love is unconditional.
You must have a right relationship with God first before He brings you the right mate. Don't put the cart before the horse, marrying before you get a right relationship with God! It will not work; no other way will be successful. A successful, happy, and Godly marriage is designed to work according to certain biblical principles God has placed in motion.